Arguing About Money

I spent an afternoon talking with a group of women about money this week.  One thing everyone shared was some conflict about money with current or past mates.  Right now a lot of people are in financial stress, so these conflicts are erupting constantly.

Couples tend to argue about the particulars, like whether they can afford to go on a vacation this year.  These arguments often get gridlocked, because they are usually not only about the particulars.  Underneath those particulars are much larger dreams and fears.  Some people dream of buying a home or sending their kids to college without debt.  Money can represent security.   Others dream of making enough money that you can buy things that you enjoy without worrying about the consequences.  Money can represent freedom.

I encourage you to open yourself up to the vision you hold for your financial future.  Think about how you want to feel about money in the future, and what you want your money to do for you.  Notice what kinds of fantasies come up.  Notice if you’re judging your vision, and try to let that go.

Consider asking your partner what his or her dreams and fears are about money.  This conversation can help you get out of gridlock and feel more understanding and compassion towards each other.  Creating a shared vision around finances is big work, and discovering the dreams and fears you each hold is the first step.

For more information about how I might help, visit my practice website at www.annieschuessler.com